I've received requests by several people to post the rules my mother always wanted me to follow. I didn't post them the first time around because I love my mommy and didn't want people who might not agree with them to criticize her or say anything disrespectful.
You should know that although my mom was more vocal with the advise, my dad agrees with my mom and always provides supporting details. I hope you enjoy the post and find it beneficial, or you could always pick up a copy of "Mars and Venus on a Date" as I had to before I could see the value in my Mom's advise.
My mother told me the following growing up
When a couple starts dating a woman should be receptive to a man's attention, and it is a man's job to win a woman over there for he should:
- let him chase you
- let him pick you up on your date (preferably from your house, but I can see how the following might work in extreme circumstances: airport, metro stop, Am track, work, etc)
- he should plan the date (you should just acknowledge the effort he put in)
- he should pay for the date (I don't care if you are dutch, you don't split the bill)
- don't complain or make negative comments about a location he picked for your date (especially in the beginning of your dating life)
- highlight the positives in your life - don't go over any negative situation you might have had a work, school, etc he will think you are difficult. (wait till you are more serious to show this side)
- DONT have sex, even after you are exclusive you should wait or interest will be lost
(my mother said till marriage, but that can be really hard in our society. Relationship therapists say you should wait till a couple has reached a level of intimacy that includes emotional, spiritual, and mental. I know society tell us we need to try out the goods before we buy, but do we really want to judge a person's relationship worth on sex? Not just that, but do we really want someone to judge our relationship worth on sex?)
- don't fret if he doesn't call. You will only drive yourself nuts wondering why he hasn't called when you could be out having fun with your friends or on other dates.
- don't call him (really don't call him)
- if you break up, don't take him back move on to someone new
- don't be afraid to be single (men can sense this)
- have mutual respect for one another (if he does/says something that is disrespectful or offends you politely let him know. If he knowingly does it again, move on)
- don't spend all your free time with him
I realize that many of these rules are not easy to follow once we are in our 20's or 30's because we are so use to our own ways. Although I am guilty of having broken many of these I think they are worth trying seeing all the mistakes I have made.
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