Latinas don't leave their parents home until they are married -- well at least that's how it was in our mother's land.
It's been two years since I moved to DC from Arizona, and this week I realized just how much everything has changed since I left. I moved for good reasons, but that doesn't take away the lonliness and guilt I sometimes feel.
Lonliness because I'm almost 3,000 miles away from the people I love & know love me unconditionaly. Guilt because initially my move broke my parents heart, and because I was no longer able to help or be of use to my family if they needed help.
Today they are orgullosos that I am attending Georgetown, so my initial guilt has faded. Yet, after this week & seeing how sick my aunt is(post soon to come) and how far along my grandfather's dementia it's harder for me to hide or ignore my guilt. I'm not here to help take care of either one, or give my grandmother support or provide humor with one of my pendejadas that I am well known for :-).
I know what I'm doing is for the best, and will help my family in the long run but I realized I had to make the biggest sacrifice in trying to achieve success - family.
I wonder what others have had to sacrifice, and if it was their familia how did they cope.
-- Post From My iPhone
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My Day Ends on a Happy Note
No matter how homesick I am, or how rough my day may have been he always manages to make me smile.
What amazes me is he does this before I even tell him I need a pick me up.
Tonight he told me how happy he was to know me...I feel the same way.
-- Post From My iPhone
What amazes me is he does this before I even tell him I need a pick me up.
Tonight he told me how happy he was to know me...I feel the same way.
-- Post From My iPhone
Sunday, May 3, 2009
No hay mal que por bien no venga, but it's great to have friends to get you through it.
It’s official; tomorrow I will be joining the online marketing team of a national non-governmental organization. I won’t say which one, but here’s a hint the organization is dedicated to enhancing the quality of life for people as they age.
I am very excited about the opportunity for several reasons including: (a) I have had my eye on this organization since I moved to DC, (b) I will be able to develop and oversee online marketing initiatives to both general and Hispanic/Latino audiences, (c) my office is located in downtown DC just a few minutes from my apartment, and (d) I will be able to afford drinks for everyone who gave me their guidance and support these past few months.
I was unemployed for two months, and that is short time period compared to what many have experienced in the nations recent layoffs. In those two months I went through a lot of emotions, but I was also able to focus on me, and see who my friends really were.
I went from feeling sad to relieved and hopeful to scared and angry then to hopeful and confident about the future. To avoid getting caught in my emotions I had to keep telling myself, “no hay mal que por bien no venga”(there is no bad from which good doesn’t come) or “todo pasa por algo” (everything happens for a reason). I also kept myself busy by studying subjects that interested me, looked for jobs, and tried things I had never done before like running, learning to cook Mexican food from scratch and wash dishes (see my first post).
Thorough this I learned:
- that there was nothing about running to fear, and I am capable of running the distance
- I can cook from scratch, and that it is actually good
- and that washing dishes doesn’t make me ready for marriage
- most importantly I learned I’m a strong woman with great friends that can rise to the occasion
From this situation I am most grateful for everyone who was there when I needed it the most. I know I always try to put a brave face, but that didn’t fool them. Whether we knew each other from work, school, and childhood or only knew through twitter they always vocalized their support. Not everyone who once claimed to be my friend, specifically CM*, was there and although that saddens me I can see now who matters, and I want to thank them.
Thank you to @lafauce for being my rock and always reminding me how much “I rock.”
@mstory123, thank you. Without your class, and your guidance always pushing for the best in one to come out I would have forgotten that I had talent - talent that has carried me through my career and into Georgetown’s graduate program. I almost let myself forget but you didn’t let me and I hope I don’t disappoint.
Thank you to all my friends including HC, LK, DC, AGB and CS to name a few. My friend LK for getting me to put on my tennis shoes to face my fear of running and helping me gain my confidence one stride at a time =). DC for reminding me that there was something bigger out there in life for me. Thank you HC, CS and AGB for not being afraid to stick up for me and help me in my job search.
I know that without everyone’s support I would not have had the confidence to walk into that interview, much less walk out with a job offer. I admit that as I put together my outfit for tomorrow I still don’t understand why everything happens; I am learning to trust that everything does happen for a reason that we are strong enough to deal what comes our way. So until we can meet after work here’s a virtual toast to the future, friendship and health – may we always be rich in all three.
*CM are not his real initials.
I am very excited about the opportunity for several reasons including: (a) I have had my eye on this organization since I moved to DC, (b) I will be able to develop and oversee online marketing initiatives to both general and Hispanic/Latino audiences, (c) my office is located in downtown DC just a few minutes from my apartment, and (d) I will be able to afford drinks for everyone who gave me their guidance and support these past few months.
I was unemployed for two months, and that is short time period compared to what many have experienced in the nations recent layoffs. In those two months I went through a lot of emotions, but I was also able to focus on me, and see who my friends really were.
I went from feeling sad to relieved and hopeful to scared and angry then to hopeful and confident about the future. To avoid getting caught in my emotions I had to keep telling myself, “no hay mal que por bien no venga”(there is no bad from which good doesn’t come) or “todo pasa por algo” (everything happens for a reason). I also kept myself busy by studying subjects that interested me, looked for jobs, and tried things I had never done before like running, learning to cook Mexican food from scratch and wash dishes (see my first post).
Thorough this I learned:
- that there was nothing about running to fear, and I am capable of running the distance
- I can cook from scratch, and that it is actually good
- and that washing dishes doesn’t make me ready for marriage
- most importantly I learned I’m a strong woman with great friends that can rise to the occasion
From this situation I am most grateful for everyone who was there when I needed it the most. I know I always try to put a brave face, but that didn’t fool them. Whether we knew each other from work, school, and childhood or only knew through twitter they always vocalized their support. Not everyone who once claimed to be my friend, specifically CM*, was there and although that saddens me I can see now who matters, and I want to thank them.
Thank you to @lafauce for being my rock and always reminding me how much “I rock.”
@mstory123, thank you. Without your class, and your guidance always pushing for the best in one to come out I would have forgotten that I had talent - talent that has carried me through my career and into Georgetown’s graduate program. I almost let myself forget but you didn’t let me and I hope I don’t disappoint.
Thank you to all my friends including HC, LK, DC, AGB and CS to name a few. My friend LK for getting me to put on my tennis shoes to face my fear of running and helping me gain my confidence one stride at a time =). DC for reminding me that there was something bigger out there in life for me. Thank you HC, CS and AGB for not being afraid to stick up for me and help me in my job search.
I know that without everyone’s support I would not have had the confidence to walk into that interview, much less walk out with a job offer. I admit that as I put together my outfit for tomorrow I still don’t understand why everything happens; I am learning to trust that everything does happen for a reason that we are strong enough to deal what comes our way. So until we can meet after work here’s a virtual toast to the future, friendship and health – may we always be rich in all three.
*CM are not his real initials.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Mexico's Safe? La Realidad para mi familia.
“Oh Mexico is safe,” she told her colleagues at lunch. “As long as one isn’t involved in drugs, illegal activities and minds their own business there is nothing to worry about.”
Before last week I would have probably said the same thing. Today I just wanted to scream at her, “Callate, you know damn well that’s not true!”
Years ago her statement was true. Today the reality for people in Mexico, including my family, is different.
On Tuesday, March 24, 2009, three masked gunmen broke into my grandmother’s house while she slept. They violently woke her, my aunt G and my aunt M (who has down syndrome) up demanding money. It wasn’t a crime of opportunity. They had been equipped with the right tools to break the iron doors and avoid the dogs.
I found out about the break-in while I was working on my homework at my usual coffee shop in Adams Morgan from a quick message my sister left. I was unable to reach my grandmother’s house because the men cut the land line had been cut, and destroyed the cell phones. I couldn’t reach my mom in AZ or any of my aunts in Mexico; I was clueless.
After my class on Tuesday I was able to get a hold of my grandmother. I spoke with my aunt G, and she told me everything that happened. EVERYTHING. Where she was sleeping, first thought when she realized someone was in her room, what they said, what weapons they had, their demands and threats as well as the sections of the house they were walking through.
G was reliving it, and I was witnessing the situation take place again.
I went from feeling clueless to feeling angry and scared.
Angry because someone tried to hurt (kill & kidnap) the people I love (G and M are twins and only a year older than me. We grew up like more like sisters than aunt and niece). Angry because I wasn’t there or even close enough to get in my car and drive over to be with them.
Scared because (a)I almost lost my family, (b) there was nothing I could do, (c) realized how vulnerable we all were, and (d) they were still out there and we didn’t even know what they looked like.
Once I hung up the phone and just started crying, and was unable to stop. Sitting on my living room floor, knees to my chest, I cried all night into Wednesday morning. Wednesday was the same. I was angry, scared and just a sobbing mess. By Thursday I was just exhausted.
It’s been a week since the break in and life is slowly getting back to normal, although it will never be “normal” again. Not for them or for me.
It’s hard to say when the situation in Mexico deteriorated. What’s not hard is explaining why things are so bad. As we saw on Anderson Copper 360 (http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/ last week from Mexico everything can be traced back to drugs (no surprise). The money is too good and the demand is high. The largest consumer of drugs - the United States.
If you consume drugs, you contribute to the violence. Fighting the war on drugs requires that we fight drug usage here at home. I’m a strong believer that if we prevent drug abuse, we also fight poverty and numerous social issues.
Before last week I would have probably said the same thing. Today I just wanted to scream at her, “Callate, you know damn well that’s not true!”
Years ago her statement was true. Today the reality for people in Mexico, including my family, is different.
On Tuesday, March 24, 2009, three masked gunmen broke into my grandmother’s house while she slept. They violently woke her, my aunt G and my aunt M (who has down syndrome) up demanding money. It wasn’t a crime of opportunity. They had been equipped with the right tools to break the iron doors and avoid the dogs.
I found out about the break-in while I was working on my homework at my usual coffee shop in Adams Morgan from a quick message my sister left. I was unable to reach my grandmother’s house because the men cut the land line had been cut, and destroyed the cell phones. I couldn’t reach my mom in AZ or any of my aunts in Mexico; I was clueless.
After my class on Tuesday I was able to get a hold of my grandmother. I spoke with my aunt G, and she told me everything that happened. EVERYTHING. Where she was sleeping, first thought when she realized someone was in her room, what they said, what weapons they had, their demands and threats as well as the sections of the house they were walking through.
G was reliving it, and I was witnessing the situation take place again.
I went from feeling clueless to feeling angry and scared.
Angry because someone tried to hurt (kill & kidnap) the people I love (G and M are twins and only a year older than me. We grew up like more like sisters than aunt and niece). Angry because I wasn’t there or even close enough to get in my car and drive over to be with them.
Scared because (a)I almost lost my family, (b) there was nothing I could do, (c) realized how vulnerable we all were, and (d) they were still out there and we didn’t even know what they looked like.
Once I hung up the phone and just started crying, and was unable to stop. Sitting on my living room floor, knees to my chest, I cried all night into Wednesday morning. Wednesday was the same. I was angry, scared and just a sobbing mess. By Thursday I was just exhausted.
It’s been a week since the break in and life is slowly getting back to normal, although it will never be “normal” again. Not for them or for me.
It’s hard to say when the situation in Mexico deteriorated. What’s not hard is explaining why things are so bad. As we saw on Anderson Copper 360 (http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/ last week from Mexico everything can be traced back to drugs (no surprise). The money is too good and the demand is high. The largest consumer of drugs - the United States.
If you consume drugs, you contribute to the violence. Fighting the war on drugs requires that we fight drug usage here at home. I’m a strong believer that if we prevent drug abuse, we also fight poverty and numerous social issues.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Finding strength & happiness after losing work & love - Encontrando fuerza y felicidad después de perder el trabajo y el amor
During the last week in February I went from being in a relationship with a guy who many would call “a catch”, and having a job to being single and unemployed. He was out of the picture on Sunday and I was laid off on Tuesday.
When I left him on Sunday, I thought “maybe I should have tried harder? After all he was everything I said I ever wanted.” Everyone loved him...everyone except me. Yet, I knew I had made the right choice when I felt relieved that it was over.
Then on Tuesday I was informed of work reduction, and provided with severance pay. The decision caught my colleagues by surprise - they didn’t know until I told them. Some were worried that the losing my job and boyfriend within two days was going to be too much. Confieso (i admit) that at first being unemployed 3000 miles away from my family was a little scary, but only because it was a new situation for me.
Latinas are strong, and I am no exception. Life has many set backs, piedras por el camino, but we always find our way and come out stronger. I learned to be strong from the women in my family, starting with my grandmother. She immigrated to the US with my dad and his sister, and cleaned homes and worked the fields for a living. She didn’t know anyone, have a job or know English when she arrived in California, but that didn’t stop her. When I lost my job I remembered my grandmother, and realized I have her strength and resources to move forward. I know English, have great friends, loving family, money, a bachelor's and Im attending Georgetown for my master’s - I am the girl who has everything! Once I realized this I stopped being scared and began planning my next steps.
I hesitated writing about recent events, but realized that there are many Latina’s who might be going through similar events and they needed to know they weren’t alone. We (Latinos) have come along way, and although there is still more for us to achieve we just have to stick together and help each other out.
In addition to friends and former colleagues I have used the sites below to research job openings. If you know of any and would like share them please send them to me or post them as a comment. I wish everyone the best of look in their job search.
Public Relations Society of America
International Association of Business Communicators
New Media and Digital Media Community and Jobs
USA Jobs
Twitter
My Work Butterfly
Job Fox
Craigslist
Monster
When I left him on Sunday, I thought “maybe I should have tried harder? After all he was everything I said I ever wanted.” Everyone loved him...everyone except me. Yet, I knew I had made the right choice when I felt relieved that it was over.
Then on Tuesday I was informed of work reduction, and provided with severance pay. The decision caught my colleagues by surprise - they didn’t know until I told them. Some were worried that the losing my job and boyfriend within two days was going to be too much. Confieso (i admit) that at first being unemployed 3000 miles away from my family was a little scary, but only because it was a new situation for me.
Latinas are strong, and I am no exception. Life has many set backs, piedras por el camino, but we always find our way and come out stronger. I learned to be strong from the women in my family, starting with my grandmother. She immigrated to the US with my dad and his sister, and cleaned homes and worked the fields for a living. She didn’t know anyone, have a job or know English when she arrived in California, but that didn’t stop her. When I lost my job I remembered my grandmother, and realized I have her strength and resources to move forward. I know English, have great friends, loving family, money, a bachelor's and Im attending Georgetown for my master’s - I am the girl who has everything! Once I realized this I stopped being scared and began planning my next steps.
I hesitated writing about recent events, but realized that there are many Latina’s who might be going through similar events and they needed to know they weren’t alone. We (Latinos) have come along way, and although there is still more for us to achieve we just have to stick together and help each other out.
In addition to friends and former colleagues I have used the sites below to research job openings. If you know of any and would like share them please send them to me or post them as a comment. I wish everyone the best of look in their job search.
Public Relations Society of America
International Association of Business Communicators
New Media and Digital Media Community and Jobs
USA Jobs
My Work Butterfly
Job Fox
Craigslist
Monster
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Lessons Learned in 2008
Many of my friends and colleagues today are writing down their new year’s resolutions, but I decided to do something a little different. Today I will write down the biggest lessons I learned in 2008. I plan to take these lessons with me into 2009 and make better decisions (or at least not make the same mistakes).
Lesson 1 – Never lose sight of what really matters
It is very easy to lose sight of what really matters to us because of everyday demands. I was guilty of this in 2008 and didn’t realize it until the year almost ended.
In 2007 I was practicing corporate communications for a well-known company based out of London when I decided to move to Washington, DC to further my education. However, I got caught up working harder for others, drama, and putting everyone’s needs before my own that I didn’t take a single class towards a Master’s degree. It wasn’t until I found myself thousands of miles away from my family, a year older, 15 pounds lighter (not necessary bad) and a breast cup smaller (bad), feeling lost and depressed that I realized I had lost sight of what really mattered to me: my family and my education.
Fortunately I realized this and quickly started taking small steps to get back on the path I had laid out in 2007. Change can be scary, but not as scary as living a life without passion and a feeling of self-fulfillment.
Lesson 2 – The meaning of a true partnership
I realize that this can mean different things to people so it’s ok to disagree with me. I’m just ecstatic that I found a definition that works me because before relationships to me were about give or take all – and history has proven that didn’t work out too well, he he.
For me a true partnership:
- is not a competition; one uses each other’s strengths to balance out their weaknesses to build a stronger unit and create something together.
- one is strong when the other is weak
- you look out for each other and for their best interest
- shares failures as well as success
I learned that in a true partnership two people come together and use their strengths to balance the other person
Lesson 3 – There is strength in prayer
I always heard people say they were praying about, or recommending others to pray, and I always wondered why? Now I know why.
On a less serious note I also learned:
- Bus drivers always expect exact fare.
- If you live in DC you need to have two pairs of shows on you at all times. Your walking pair and the shoes you will wear at work.
- In DC one should have at least three umbrellas. Keep one umbrella at work, one at home and one in your purse or laptop bag.
- Never tell your priest that the Pope reminded you of Yoda.
- Liquor before beer or beer before liquor makes no difference you will still regret it the next day.
- When all your friends don’t like your date or say you “look better without him/her” then you should listen.
- You will grow up and start sounding just like your mother!
I hope everyone has a safe and fun evening, and the best for 2009.
Happy New Year!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
How did you arrive to the United States?
I was on a date recently with someone I met at church. Although he wasn’t Latino, the fact that he was catholic was enough to get my mother excited. Yet, the person who should have been excited about him - me - wasn’t. This was my attempt to move past CM.
We were getting to know each other, talking about the normal topics people discuss on a date (i.e.work, family, friends, movies, music, etc), and to my surprise I found myself enjoying the evening. Sadly that mood was quickly killed.
After we ordered dinner, he asked “So how did you arrive to the United States?”
My first thought was “WTF”, but I calmly and politely answered “I was born here.”
My name, and the blog give it away I am a Latina/Hispanic, however I am a US citizen. I notice that many times people make the mistake and think that Latinos/Hispanics living in the United States immigrated (legally/illegally), but the reality is many of us were born here. We are proud of being American and Latino/Hispanic, except one is our nationality and one is our cultura.
My date and I discussed this, and he saw where what he said could come off as offensive. Unfortunately for other reasons there will not be another date.
We were getting to know each other, talking about the normal topics people discuss on a date (i.e.work, family, friends, movies, music, etc), and to my surprise I found myself enjoying the evening. Sadly that mood was quickly killed.
After we ordered dinner, he asked “So how did you arrive to the United States?”
My first thought was “WTF”, but I calmly and politely answered “I was born here.”
My name, and the blog give it away I am a Latina/Hispanic, however I am a US citizen. I notice that many times people make the mistake and think that Latinos/Hispanics living in the United States immigrated (legally/illegally), but the reality is many of us were born here. We are proud of being American and Latino/Hispanic, except one is our nationality and one is our cultura.
My date and I discussed this, and he saw where what he said could come off as offensive. Unfortunately for other reasons there will not be another date.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)